It isn't so much as I used to say that every man has a girl within him which is still true, but not quite the same way. What he really has within him is the other side of his computer that works differently than the side he uses every day and cannot only free himself to a considerable degree from the tyranny of the everyday world, and his usual reactions to it, but additionally, can provide new ways of looking at things, en- joying experiences and living ones humaness more fully. If we could all come to realize this and more intentionally prac- tice being in the right-mode, we could increase our enjoyment of life considerably. We would then, indeed, have the best of both worlds. That is, we could be in the left-mode OR the right-mode, as we wished, and do so consciously and with aware- ness of the world around us.

In meditation, yoga, and lots of other ways of accom- plishing the switchover, the indi- vidual either has his eyes shut and/or assume some particular body position and breathing regimen or must do a certain thing to the exclusion of others. A jogger must run to get the benefits of jogging and while running, he can't be sitting at the park, admiring the flowers (or shopping for pretty things)'. Dressing in feminine attire not only means dressing more like those with greater access to their right-mode (females), but more importantly is the negative side the stopping of the dressing and appearing as (and acting in the manner expected) of those largely in the left-mode in a left-oriented society (men). Thus, the combination of going into one and getting out of the other is where the relaxation comes from and the pleasure

of that easing of tensions is to be found.

But the special benefits of this method of going into the right-mode and the enjoying of the resulting lessening of tension, is that you are still alive, functional and moving around. Incidentally, realization of what is going on should pro- vide the final coupe-de-grace for your guilt feelings because regardless of what it may look like to others and others and regardless of what they feel or say about it, YOU should know that all you are really doing is using a new and for most people (ex- cept for people like us) an un- known secret passage through the wall that separates the left from the right mode in most people. Since you are only going from you to YOU, why should you feel guilty and ashamed. Why shouldn't you feel not only self-accepting (a minimum feel- ing) but actually PROUD and ELATED and EXCITED (men- tally, not sexually) that you have discovered this passage and have perfected it so that you can pass through it at will.

Realizing that this passage

a two-way street is what the essence of androgeny (or gynan- dry, as I prefer) is all about. You can't be in and out of meditation at the same time; you can't very well practice the lotus position of yoga and walk the streets at the same time. You don't have any bad trips or hang- overs as you might with drugs and you are not exhausted as you might be after a long jogging run. You can still use the left hemisphere's logic and the train- ing learned by John when you are Jane. And you will still have the physical strength or agility "he" developed when he is now "she."

I remember how amazed

some

of the people on my China trip were when I didn't want to walk way around a long three-foot high railing to get to the bus on the other side 1 merely vaulted the fence and went to the bus. "But women don't DO that sort of thing", I could almost hear them saying. But i had the motivation as Virginia and I had the strength as Charles so I did it!! What I'm trying to say is that this is not an either/or kind of thing. You don't have to be either ail feminine or all masculine. You can be YOU and occupy any space you feel like between those extremes and change that location moment by moment, if circumstances warrant.

Those last lines I realize are hard to apply to the Cross- dresser who only gets an oppor- tunity 10 dress occasionally. When he does get to dress,

he wants to go as far to the right as he can and that means as far away from the left as he can get and that is under- standable. But those with greater opportunity can begin to estab- lish more intermediate positions. Finally, since all of this comes out of my Own experience and my own thinking, when one gets to the transgenderist posi- tion, which is where I am now, I can set up housekeeping right in the middle, if i want, and look and act womanly until a "fence" gets in my way and then vault over it and go on my way with- out any feelings of inappropri- ateness, or "what will people think," or, "that wasn't very feminine" type of thinking. I'm just very satisfied to be ME, a position that incorporates all of me, both left, right and middle. I am interested in your com- ments: write Virginia Prince, Box 36091, Los Angeles, Ca 90036.